ﾠﾠﾠﾠﾠﾠI can still recall the charged, acrid air in the fifth grade wing and the look on our teacher's face as she squinted her eyes in disgust and discomfort. Boys were abruptly told to report to the boys' room and girls to another classroom. Then - unbelievably - Mrs. Gritsavage came into the boys' bathroom and got right to the point. It seemed that one of us boys had relieved himself into the heater, causing both the stench we could all plainly smell and, more seriously according to Mrs. Gritsavage, the fifth grade teachers' realization that we boys couldn't handle the responsibility of using the restrooms by ourselves. Until the guilty one accepted responsibility for this act of irresponsibility, we were told, our teachers intended to join us in the restroom to ensure there were no repeats of this stunt. Mr. Mirasola, the only male teacher in our elementary school, piped in that he assumed the perpetrator would make himself known promptly and take his due punishment so that not all of us boys would potentially be viewed as the irresponsible one.
ﾠﾠﾠﾠﾠﾠThus started our regulated and overseen fifth grade treks to the boys' room. At first hours went by and then a couple of days. No one came forward. We had a reminder talk and were urged to speak to the teachers even if we didn't do it but might know who did. Days slipped into a couple of weeks, and our new bathroom routine seemed almost normal.
Finally, and quite memorably, we were all ushered into the bathroom once again. Mrs. Gritsavage and Mr. Mirasola stood by the violated heater and said how disappointed they were that the offender hadn't come forward but that that person was punishing all of us. They told us they couldn't responsibly let that continue. They would let the matter drop. All of us would again be treated as if we could act responsibly. They hoped we had all learned a lesson.
ﾠﾠﾠﾠﾠﾠIt's hard to know what lesson we fifth grade boys actually learned. Thinking back to it, though, it's clear that we caught a glimpse of how difficult it can be for adults to teach children about responsibility, especially in isolation. Ideally, responsibility is instilled consistently, incrementally, positively, and not under threat. Ironically, our teachers pointed toward these deeper lessons by abandoning their stance while trusting and challenging us to act responsibly.