The Country School is an independent, coeducational, Pre-K through 8 school founded in 1934.
News
The Importance of Failure
Upper School Head Wilson Everhart discusses effort grades and how important a lesson failure can be.
Next week, the Term 1 academic and effort grades for grades 4th-8th will be released, so I thought this an especially important time to highlight the importance of failure. I know that might sound strange coming from the Upper School Head at a school where our motto is “Do Your Best, Always.” However, I was inspired to write about the importance of failure as I read the powerful book entitled “The Gift of Failure” by Jessica Lahey.
Mrs. Lahey is a middle school educator, parent, and journalist, and her book is a compelling reminder of two related points: 1) When we as adults reflect honestly on the lessons we best learned in childhood, they involved elements of initial failure, resolve, and real responsibility; and 2) when as adults we swoop in and deny - note that I did not say protect - children the experience of failure, we are depriving them of a crucial step in the process of becoming independent, curious, and confident learners and adults.
Mrs. Lahey’s book title may sound odd, as it is counter-intuitive to think of failure as a gift. However, she argues that allowing a child to struggle without swooping in to ease their path is absolutely a gift - and one that more parents and teachers need to give. Think of how powerful it is when we say to children, “Keep trying. I believe in you. You can figure this out and do better.” Letting our children learn how to fail and find a way forward shows our great confidence in them, and it sets them on the path to become the independent, resourceful adults we all want them to become.
Conversely, think of the message we send to our children when we try to protect children from failure. In the words of Mrs. Lahey, “Every time we rescue, hover, or otherwise save our children from a challenge, we send a very clear message: that we believe they are incompetent, incapable, and unworthy of our trust. Further, we teach them to be dependent on us and thereby deny them the very education in competence we are put here on this earth to hand down.”
Mrs. Lahey is making a full-throated and compelling argument that it is time we start reconsidering failure and celebrating its importance in our the lives of the children we teach, parent, and raise. To be more specific, over the course of her book, Mrs. Lahey encourages teachers and parents to consider the following types of questions:
- Are their enough chores at home for which your Lower and Upper School children are truly responsible? Do you as the parent take over the chore if it is initially done poorly by your child?
- When a child does poorly on a test, do you give them the space and genuine responsibility to problem-solve and design solutions for how she/he can do better next time?
- When your child leaves a homework assignment, lunch, or uniform behind, do you bring it to school for her/him, or do you let your child be without for the day, and then task her/him with coming up with a better solution for packing up in the morning?
As someone who has the privilege of parenting young children and the honor to work with students for now two decades, I can attest that children have the ability to be tremendously resourceful, resilient, and creative. In order to meet their full potential, however, we as teachers and parents must give them the gift of failure and the freedom and responsibility to find a better way.
Recent News
List of 5 news stories.
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Kindergarten Students Serving Others!
Kindergarteners have been participating in a 3 part HOHO (Helping Others; Helping Ourselves) project lead by Ferris and Laura Butler. Students packed boxes to be shipped to veterans and their families. The boxeswere filled with child friendly, donated items. Also in the boxes were handwritten letters from the students along with a handmade American flag craft. The Butlers carefully orchestrated this project, and we are very grateful for their time and efforts. -
Spring Athletic Award Winners
Congratulations to all our spring athletics award winners and to all our Cougar athletes who participated in sports and clubs! This spring, TCS offered Boys’ and Girls’ Lacrosse, Pickleball Club, Running Club, and Volleyball Club. Providing so many athletic opportunities took a village—thank you to our amazing coaches, volunteers, and parent drivers for making it all possible! And thank you to our students for setting an example of dedication and sportsmanship!Read More -
Summer Trips for Upper School Students in 2025
It is with great excitement that The Country School announces the addition of 2025 summer trips for our Upper School students!Read More -
The Country School Celebrates 90 Years and Installs Jay Parker
Read MoreThe Country School is proud to be celebrating its 90th school year. This milestone year also marks the beginning of a new chapter with the appointment of Jay Parker as the 7th Head of School. -
Conversation & Homecoming - Saturday, February 24, 2024
Read MoreThe Country School, Talbot County Free Library, and the Avalon Foundation, sponsors, join with fourteen other community organizations to present Conversation & Homecoming with Carole Boston Weatherford and her son, Jeffery Boston Weatherford, a program free and open to all.
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